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How to Deal with a Jerk Note Holder

Although there are many note holders who are open to talking when you demonstrate empathy and relevancy, there are also some emotionally charged jerks that seem intent on hurting you and making it personal.

The pandemic has changed some things.  It’s added new stress, challenges, and hurdles to our plates. This might be a news flash, but note holders feel it too.

The Call – I was smack dab in the middle of a hostile note holder call. It wasn’t pretty. It was one of those calls we all dread – where the note holder unloads and then hangs up on you.  They accuse you of interrupting and throw in some saucy obscenities.  I kept thinking to myself, “Emotional Control.” The call ended but of course I was a little rattled.

The Jerk – Man, that really sucked.  I chuckled a little to myself and thought “He tore me up”. I reminded myself that I have made thousands of calls, and that this happens from time to time.  It didn’t really help, so I took a walk around the block.  But, before I left, I looked at myself in the mirror, smiled and said, “Hey. That was a gift.” And again, “That was a gift,” I repeated.

You might not realize it yet and think it was not a gift just a jerk. You might be confused and wondering, “How in the heck was that a gift?” It’s a gift because it makes you better. Do you think that jerk is proud of himself? Probably not. If he does, he’s probably not a very good person,

We’ve all said things when we were stressed or angry.  We’ve taken that stress and anger out on innocent friends, family, or strangers.  And, for those of us that are good people, we feel bad about it.  At least with friends or family, we have the luxury of apologizing and hoping for their grace.  

You called someone that could have had a terrible day. And, you just called at the wrong time. There’s a lot going on in the world right now, so he took it out on you. So, you have a choice, label him a jerk, or use how you feel as energy to get back on the horse and call him again.

The Call Back – The next morning I courageously called the “jerk” back. As it often turns out, the guy wasn’t a bad person.  In fact, he really appreciated the call back because he felt terrible for how he had treated me the day before.

I learned that he’d had laid off his entire team. Some of them were his friends, and he knew their families, and he was taking it very hard.  He really appreciated the call back and flooded the call with his own apologies.

Although he was not in a position to sell us his note yet, he asked if we would follow up with him next month.  I sent a follow up email to him and he responded with gratitude. I’m now looking forward to calling him again next month.

The next time you get someone nasty on a call, try cooling off, changing your approach and giving them a call back the next day. Remember that most people are good and that when they treat you with contempt or disrespect, they’re likely having a bad day. It’s also likely that they feel remorse for treating you this way.

Hope this helps! Be kind, keep safe and stay healthy. Remember success demands action, keep on marketing, it’s going to work! TWITA! (That’s What I’m Talkin’ About!)

Jeff Armstrong of Armstrong Capital has been a note investor and broker specializing in the performing seller financed note industry since 1991. For more updated and current information on how he can help you with your note business, your note investments or to request a quote on a note you currently have visit to email him and subscribe to his weekly Note-Able Newsletter.

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