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Building Trust on the Phone

Did you know that the way you speak makes a big difference on your calls with note holders? For example, are you a self-described slow talker or do you like a fire rapid pace of conversation? I bring this up because I never used to pay attention to the way I spoke during a call. After all, as long as I was prepared for the call and was an expert the note business, nothing else mattered, right?

Well, not really. Low and behold, the way you communicate and speak with your customer goes a long way in building trust and rapport. Fortunately for me, quite a while back I learned a great way to establish rapport in a conversation right away.

It all started when I attended a sales training seminar (always trying to learn more) by veteran sales psychologist Dr. Donald Moine. His teachings have made a big difference in my calls with note holders. Dr. Moine taught us that on a subconscious level “people like people that are like themselves”.

One of the examples he gave was to match your style of conversation to that of your prospect (mirroring).  Let me give you an example. If I am a self-described slow talker, I like to take my time when I speak and I also like to enunciate my words. True to Dr. Moine’s teachings, I would naturally and instantly like people who talk just like me, slow and relaxed. Conversely, if you are a slow talker speaking with a fast talker it might (most probably) get on their nerves.

Knowing your own style of speaking is the easy part. The hard part is paying attention and capturing your note holder’s style of speaking. For example, here are some common speaking styles I’ve heard since learning this:

Informal speaking style

Formal and very business-like

Fast paced

Slow paced

Soft speaker

Loud speaker

So next time you’re on the phone with a note holder, pay attention. Listen to the style and pace of conversation your prospect naturally uses when speaking. Then, see if you can adapt a little to their style.

For example, let’s say you naturally speak loud and fast, and your prospect is speaking low and slow. If you catch this early on, you could adjust your own conversational style to match their style of speaking.  Thus you speak low and slow with them. By doing so, you will have learned a little known secret about how to build instant trust and rapport with a prospect, right from the get-go. On a subconscious level, your prospect will like you and trust you, though they may not be able to pinpoint exactly why.

It took me a while to remember to do this in my own conversations, but with practice, it now comes naturally.  Not everyone is just like we are; we all have different speaking styles. My belief is that if you take the time to understand your note holder’s on more than one level, you will shorten the time it takes to win them as note sellers when they are ready to sell their note.  Remember success demands action, keep on marketing, it’s going to work!  TWITA! (That’s What I’m Talkin’ About!)

Jeff Armstrong of Armstrong Capital has been a note broker and investor specializing in the seller financed note industry since 1991.  He can be reached by email at For more updated and current information on how he can help you with your note business, your note investments or to request a quote on a note you currently have visit

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